To Tame a Beast With Sex (or Try and Fail Spectacularly)
by Dantriestobeproductive
Summary: Naruto is beginning to regret ever bragging to the Bijuu about his stamina (or at least he's doing that in the little intervals he can think coherently in between all the sex and mind-numbing pleasure).


Another old thing I wrote some time ago and then...forgot it existed in my doc manager.

Oops. Well, there you go :D (and no smut at all, sorry for that)

* * *

There were many perks and very few cons to being a Jinchuuriki, all things considered. On the one hand, you had a big bad demon inside your gut which, yeah, sounded pretty intimidating, but this factor quickly went out the window if you lucked out and ended with one of the friendliest Bijuu of the bunch or if (more likely to happen and hardest to do) you managed to befriend said Bijuu. After all, it was said that if you spent a life-time with another person, you'd either end up falling in love with them or hating their guts.

Naruto had the (dubious) luck of it being the former, after some three (or in Kurama's case, fifteen) years of the latter. And there _were_ perks in hooking up with your very own very literal inner demon.

Though the superhuman libido could be both a blessing and a curse at times.

"Kurama, _stop_," Naruto bemoaned, barely having the strength to move his head so he wasn't being asphyxiated (and, incidentally, muted) by the pillow. As much as the demon's licking and touching was rather pleasant generally, at the moment he was so hyper-sensitive it felt like every nerve was exploding. "I'm exhausted. At least give me ten minutes to rest, _please_."

"Where did that 'libido monster' go now, brat?" Kurama replied, and by the feeling of fangs against his skin Naruto could imagine that the currently-human-shaped demon was smirking. The smug tone was a dead give-away, too.

"Shut up," Naruto replied maturely. He now regretted the words that had led to the sex-marathon. "How would I've know that Bijuu had unlimited amounts of horniness?"

"Well," Kurama said, in that tone of his that screamed 'duh, idiot', "the enhanced libido should've been an easy one."

"I thought I was just more durable!"

"You thought wrong," the 'idiot' was implied enough.

"Well, yeah, I know better now," Naruto scoffed, before trying to send a glare at the human-shaped fox, regardless of the fact that said fox wasn't anywhere near his visual range. "And seriously, what the fuck are you anyway, the Hornytsune? The Kitsune no Horny?"

"It's called stamina, kit," Kurama grunted back, meanly scratching down Naruto's hips with too-sharp nails.

Ooooh, was the fox mad?

"I'm going to call you Hornytsune from now on," Naruto smirked, imagining Kurama's fur bristling at the nickname. "_Hornytsune_. It has a nice ring to it."

"_Brat_," Kurama growled, the sound almost too deep to be human. It was a weird thing of Kurama's transformations that Naruto actually liked: as fun as it was hearing the fox's deep voice from his original (if miniaturized) form, listening to Kurama's weird softer-pitched human-form voice crack back into his inhuman one was _way more fun_.

The fact that for that to happen Kurama had to be in an intense emotional upheaval (be it anger or passion), might or might not have anything to do with it.

"Yes, Hornytsune, dear?" Naruto asked innocently, mimicking one of most sweet-to-decay tones he'd ever had the (dubious) pleasure to hear. The girl had been nice, if a bit creepy with her 'sweet' character and tone overlapping with bouts of obsession that made the less saner members of Akatsuki seem nice and harmless.

She'd also been the reason he'd learned to be more careful with whom he brought to bed, if only for the stalking-across-nations incident that had followed.

(Jiraiya, who'd never learned the lesson himself, had obviously been useless in that aspect.)

And Naruto was already regretting that his brain had been reminded of _that_ special incident. Now any attempts of trying to get it on would fall on a limp member for some hours.

Which most likely wouldn't be a problem for a while, if Kurama sinking his teeth into his lower back was anything to go with.

"Ow!," he snapped, more on reflex than any actual pain (shinobi life made for high pain tolerance, after all), and looked at his not-quite-boyfriend-but-neither-friend-more-like-maybe-partner-in-_that_-way incredulously. "What was _that_ for?"

Kurama harrumphed, and licked off the blood from the already-closing puncture wounds.

"Don't get distracted thinking about psycho girls of all things, brat," the fox grumbled, and Naruto wondered for a second about the creepiest parts of sharing mind-space with another person before another entirely different thought grazed his mind, making him smirk.

"Aww, were you jealous, Hornytsune mine?" Naruto cooed, turning around to be able to look at Kurama's (surely) priceless expression.

Kurama, as expected, scoffed, while his cheeks and ears turned a shade of red almost as dark as his hair. Naruto would always be amazed at how the _Kyuubi no Kitsune_ managed to somehow look _cute_.

Maybe it was his own biased self.

Nah.

"I wasn't jealous at all, brat!" Kurama barked, sinking his claws into Naruto's flesh in vengeance. Naruto was eerily reminded of his mother for some reason, and that was disturbing enough in itself. "It's just that there's no way we'd go nowhere if your dick can't cooperate because you're too busy drowning in age-old nightmares of creepy women."

"Huh, talking about women..." Naruto said, and Kurama groaned at the non-sequitur, entirely used to Naruto's mind's ways by now. "You still haven't shown me your female form. What, scared to admit that my Oiroke no Jutsu is much sexier than yours?" Naruto was proud of the leer he could feel on his face.

And it was totally worth it to see Kurama's reaction.

"Brat! You got that from _me_, so show a little respect!" he snapped back, and Naruto could barely hold in the grin. If he managed to convince Kurama of turning into a girl, maybe he could still hold on to the end of the bet. "And no shape shifting 'till the time is done, you little cheater."

Crap, there went his attempts at sneakiness.

Kurama rolled his eyes, and talked before Naruto's suspicions could even be born. "And no, I didn't read your mind, your face is transparent enough for that, and I'll have you know I'm _the_ kitsune. An amateur has nothing on a master of trickery like me."

Naruto looked at his...partner, yes, partner, propped over his chest by the end of his explanation, looking too much like a smug cat sprawled over his favourite seat, and his lips twitched.

"Whatever you say, Hornyrama," Naruto said fondly, smiling.

Kurama bit him in the nipple, next.


End file.
